Check out the official Punk Rock Fitness Web page.

At first glance this idea of “punk rock fitness” classes just seems way too cool to really be any good.  It’s like one of those awesome band names that never do justice to how the band really sounds. (remember “Gay Bikers on Acid”?)  But I just kept hearing how great these classes were, so I decided to pay my own visit to Small’s for my first class.

The scariest part of this whole thing was that I would actually be expected to perform exercise voluntarily.  Let’s face it – the best days for my body are long gone – all those injuries from way too many years of playing football, basketball, skiing and, of course, slam dancing, have pretty much destroyed what little athleticism I ever had.  The knee replacement along with a few other broken joints have not exactly made me a poster child for good health and nutrition.

Nevertheless, it was time to find an old punk t-shirt (The Feisty Cadavers in this case) and wander into Small’s to begin my odyssey to lose a few pounds while bopping along with the Ramones.  I strolled in there and immediately discovered that I was the only guy – I kind of expected this and hoped that I wouldn’t collapse and throw up during class.  (“After class” throwing up is perfectly fine).  Julie, the instructor, quickly signed me up and just told me to go out and have fun.  The male contingent of the class doubled when another guy showed up and it was time to get to work

I immediately headed for the corner where I hoped that I wouldn’t embarrass myself too much (as I do in any situation where dancing may be required).  The music kicked in and all thoughts of embarrassment quickly went vanished as songs by the Hentchmen, B-52s, 3D Invisibles, Violent Femmes and others filled the room.  I seemed to be operating in slow motion as everybody else was pretty much doing the next movement as I was desperately trying to catch up and not fall over the sound system.  I quickly found out that some of my muscles haven’t been stretched out since the Gold Dollar was still open.  I gamely hung on until the sounds of “Teenage Lobotomy” started reverberating through Small’s. At that point all considerations of form and decorum went out the window and was time to bounce off a few walls and hop around with the Ramones. (just think “Rock & Roll High School !!!).  Luckily there was no Black Flag or Negative Approach played during my class or I would have probably been attempting my first stage dive in many years.  The stage “diving” is easy – it’s the “landing” that always gave me trouble.  All sorts of exercises with jump ropes, bands and other assorted items followed and I’m happy to say that the wall at Small’s kept me from falling over (just like at the regular shows there).

The class ended the way the way a good punk show should end – it’s over way too early and then you realize that you’re completely tired and sweaty and it’s time to drag yourself home.  I have to admit that I’m totally hooked – I’m already planning to sneak in a few tunes for the next class – maybe the Rezillos, Adverts or Reruns will make me feel a little less clumsy when I trip over that jump rope a few more times.  Either way – Punk Rock Fitness is even better than it sounds and I can’t wait to get back there and bump into that wall again a few more times.

Upcoming Classes

 

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